


The Loves of Loki

by Roadstergal



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Implied Relationships, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Sibling Love, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 17:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14359809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadstergal/pseuds/Roadstergal
Summary: Love is a ridiculous concept.





	The Loves of Loki

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Loves of Thor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14358546) by [Kahvi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi). 



_It's how he loves_ , Frigga would reassure him when Thor would rough-and-tumble too hard, when he would disrupt Loki's focus during an intricate bit of seidr, when he would steal something of Loki's - a dagger, the book he was reading - and make Loki chase him, laughing and sprinting  away when Loki got too close.  A proper introduction to the subject - a singularly annoying emotion that was uniquely _Thor_.

Was that also why Thor would come to him in the night and put his arms around Loki, like Loki was a pet, a blanket, an object only put into Asgard to please and soothe Thor?  The idea rankled, but Loki tolerated it anyway - why, he did not know.  He slept well those nights, deep sleep with no dreams.  That was not _love_ , that was the comfort of familiarity. 

The more he saw, the more he experienced, the more certain he was that love was a highly annoying sort of emotion.  The way Thor felt towards him, towards Frigga, towards Sif, towards anyone who crossed his path - yes, if that was love, Loki did not love.  Instead, he _wanted_  so hard it hurt - Frigga's attention, her touch.  Thor's respect.  The approving glance of Odin's eye.  A very different matter.

Sigyn said she loved him.  But she didn't act like Thor, so how much could she, really?  Instead of teasing and tackling, she made wicked jokes and plotted intricate schemes with him, making up and acting in little plays just for themselves.  When the other children laughed, she was there, distracting, joking, helping him build little castles of wood, easing the pain in his mind as if she were keeping poison from dripping onto his head.  She would touch her lips to his, sometimes, and it was warm and sweet.  But it was not intrusive, not irritating - it was simple, unconfusing.  Not at all like love.  And then she was gone, married off to a noble as a gift from Odin.  She assured Loki that she would grow to love her husband, which seemed a fitting punishment.

Nobody married off Loki.  Frigga and her handmaidens talked of Thor's love for Sif, but somehow, with no discussion, they all seemed to know what Loki had discovered - that love was as uniquely Thor's as that deadly hammer.   Loki had his own emotions, and they suited him well.   _Avarice.  Jealousy.  Greed.  Hedonism._

He learned the taste of the word, though.  Knowledge was power, and knowledge of this word opened new doors of possibility.  It was indeed powerful, forgiving so many things.  He read voraciously, eating up poetry and plays full of Aesir, Jotun, humans, and dwarves doing horrible, hideous deeds; the mere mention of it being for _love_  made the acts tragic, rather than cruel.   _Love_ was the only real difference he could discern between a tortured hero and a tyrant.

He tried out the word on his own lips.  He tasted it.  It felt strange on his tongue, smooth and overly-sweet like raw honey.  _I love you.  I love you, Thor.  Never doubt that I love you._   It felt strange, distant, a sticky, childish word that did not accurately capture a fraction of his feelings for his brother.  But the mere mention of it made his brother beam like the sun.

_I loved Thor more dearly than any of you._

 

* * *

 

And Thor loved _that woman_.

A strange sort of love, that did not tolerate mockery and tricks.  Love like a wall around her, with Loki on the other side.  Love that made him ask, and ask, and _demand_ of Loki, with no return other than the reality of that love itself.  Ridiculous.

A strange sort of emotion, that made Loki, nevertheless, give of himself for Thor to be with _that woman_.  A virus that maimed and killed wherever it went.

There were no books written about this sort of insanity.  Yet, perhaps, there could be a play.

 


End file.
